tired

do you ever feel like words cost too much & your soul can't get enough sleep? i'm the most exhausted i've ever been...in every way.

i think he's who triggered most of it, being so hollow. the one whose heart got tired & lost its beat. i think his spirit's still here, stuck on its coffin couch and i can hear it sag. he's stepping on my chest, and i'm weary for it. two weeks with the heaviest ending, and none tastes the same afterward. strange.

part of it too is all the running i've done. i've been scrambling from hammock to beachy sand, from old friends to new, & i think all the forging has left me short of breath. 

so, i think the time's come to rest. it's back to hammock & beachy sand, & from new friends to solitude...then eventually back to old friends. i think peru & bolivia have something hiding for me, & i can't wait to have it unravel. just like i had to shave my head, & i had to move to a town i'd never tasted & without any humans i knew, i have to pound my feet in the southern hemisphere, for the first time, with no hands near to hold. the baby steps are getting bigger, but soon they'll lead to a straight spine followed by steps that are sure.

so i guess 2013's decided; it's a year for the found.