i haven't quite found the words but shadow or cloud seem to fit more or less. it always lurks & follows and makes light lost & cold win & one of which is followed by storm.
the shadow or cloud, whichever you choose, threatens more lately to make permanent stay. sometimes they'd vacation but these days shadow grows long & cloud grows dark & this spirit of mine is left rained out & wilted.
they keep saying there are still people that love me, despite the ones that curse & defame. it's hard to feel through shadow & cloud, & it's making this island grow & heart droop & foot steps heavier still.
those pictures of who i used to be, they seem so far & plastic; was i really that blissed & free & windy then? maybe it's a mask, maybe shadow & cloud me finally won out. maybe my prison will outlast his & i'll never feel the sun again. maybe i'll give up & see what that would mean.
why didn't i see that he wanted to crush my me? why didn't i stop him before it was too late?
the girl in the photos, i miss her. maybe someday she'll come back.
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