(happenings)

i find myself in the devil float
where i want him to ask me to
dance.

when my feet fly &
the earth leaves sky,
i tell myself i'm exploring more
me.

but the last notes leave my
feet weary
& that pulse of mine
dry.

can the devil say who i want to be?

my me says that i'm too bright for his fire
& that my feet should never
match his.

when his flame ashes my breath
& the floor is still,
our dances always haunt me.

but when i head to sun,
when i seek out the bright side of the me that
wants to live in these bones without that grueling
shame,

well, she misses the dark & the eyes
that want to see the bits of me that
are black.

am i shadow or shine? & why do i feel so drained
by both the black &
white?

i twist & wreck them both. where's that bliss i'm always
destroying,
i think that's what i want. maybe i should just
take it & run.