this family always has meant celebrating with costume just because, & catching me when the world crashes into me and i'm near crashing into dirt. after three months of separation from the arms that have always been refuge, i found myself wondering how i ever manage to leave them. be it the arms growing daily of my beloved first grader or those attached to the womb that wrought my body with life, they will ever be my home...despite what my mailing address may be, & how many times those numbers & streets & avenues change each year.
i've also been blessed with families i've created, beyond those lines of lineage & ancestry. one of the most sacred had always been my family that called boulder home. we're made of many (giant & mini, tribe & mountain), and we have shared life in beautiful ways since the days our hearts met. but upon my return, my family greeted me with crossed arms & loathing, & my heart broke more deeply than i'd imagined.
family, i'd always believed, was unconditional. family i thought ignored zip codes & loved beyond separating highways; family i thought would love me despite when my road led afar. but here my newest lesson is painfully full of darkness; maybe this family isn't unconditional. may be their words of love were empty because they were silenced when my feet needed to stray to find their next stage. they say that i won't let them be characters, but they wouldn't allow me just the briefest guest appearance; instead, they chose hatred of my choices & my tears once met with embrace were left to crash in my hollow ears..
i guess i'm learning more about the different kinds of families we can make. & this time, i don't really like what i'm finding.
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