river remembers [three years and counting]

remember those months that i'd tear my body just so i could ache with the stream for you? i can still feel winter breathing its grief into my cracked lungs & water whispering icy sorrow into my harrowed ears.

remember that night i woke up & your toes left earth & those bed sheets took your soul? i can still hear the shrieks of my dream telling me you'd gone, & the crush of knowing your shine would be disappeared from that moment hung forever.

remember when we swung in summer night & you told me to seek love? i still taste your sweet words & how they shaped my days that followed.

remember when i would stare at your five feet & 8 inches from my four-foot-something & dream of when i could be just like you? i can still hear my clammorings for dinner-side seats to your absurd stories & tales to seek after.

some days i may not feel you, but i will always remember. i'm amazed by how sharp the memories are & how deep they still cut. my soul hasn't forgotten yours, & i'm still so grateful for the light yours gave mine. my steps are laced with you & the beauty you wrought. thank you for the days we shared, & for scarring the earth the way you did.

rest easy, dear aunt of mine.

[i'll love you forever, i'll like you for always, as long as i'm living, my baby you'll be]